About

I’ve been working for days on a website about my son, who chose to end his life last week. It feels like days. Grief time. It might actually be true that that site originated less than 24 hours ago. Either way, that’s the place I will share my memories of Ryan, celebrate his life, extoll his vibrant smile. 

This space is for something different. This space is about grief, and about me, and about how I walk this journey that far too many have walked before me. A journey that is very much like all the others and also entirely unique to me. 

I'm writing as a way to move through grief, not to the other side, but to the next part. It's a way to know what I'm thinking, to release what isn't useful, to remember what is precious. I'm sharing because it feels less alone, less pointless. I tell myself that maybe there is something in grief and the way I find to move through grief that might be helpful to someone else.  It's a story that is itself helpful to me.  

I expect this space to be messy, sometimes raw, sometimes light, sometimes touching, sometimes challenging or even disturbing, but always always real. I will share here those things that I can bear to say to the world, a willingness that generally arrives fairly quickly after I find I can bear to say them to myself.